It’s after the New Year and my family is getting ready to disperse to far-flung corners of the world from whence they came from. For some odd reason, unlike past holidays, I am not tired. In fact, unlike other holidays, I am not wishing for a respite from the hectic holidays that is the tenure of years past.
This time, I decided to host my family on my own terms after absorbing the shock of being surprise visited for 3 weeks instead of the usual few days where you can be fake being a gracious host.
I whole heartedly embraced the fact that was not super woman and I could not do everything every day.
Some days I cooked.
Some days I didn’t.
Some days I was really chatty.
Some days I was quiet.
Most days, I was glad that they had chosen to visit me and felt pretty lucky to have family with me. Most importantly, to get through the holidays I needed to be my own best friend and take care of me as well. With this in mind, I was able to join in the festivities and found myself really getting in touch again with my family and not merely trying to second guess their needs at every turn.
You are your own worst and best friend. A lot of the stress that wears us down is of our own making. We tend to worry about things that are beyond our control the result of which is stress which as we all know, can lead to health problems that can affect our health.
Part of caring for yourself is simply adjusting your thoughts by identifying yourself as your own best friend. Being your own best friend means that you give yourself some TLC (Tender Loving Care) which includes:
- T (Tender)- Treat yourself tenderly. Don’t drive yourself too hard. Every task that’s pending and waiting to get done, is likely to get done better when you are not rushing through it. With all my guests in the house, I realized that cooking everyday would only impress me the most and then others a little. So I decided to take breaks when I was tired and on those days, I enjoyed my company more when we sat down in a restaurant and learned all that my sisters had been up to.
- L (Loving)- Find time to love yourself by doing things that will improve both your physical and spiritual well-being. During the holidays, I made time for my daily work out. I encouraged my guests to join and to my chagrin my sister’s fiancé decided to join my work out routine. Perhaps I imagined this but I felt like I was more pleasant to my guests after a good work out.
- C(Care)- Care about the things that matter. We spend a lot of time caring about things that don’t really matter. I once wrote about controlling your thoughts and actions by a theorist by the name of William Glasser who emphasizes choice theory. Glasser emphasizes the fact that you are only in control of your thoughts and actions. During the holidays, I made a conscious decision not to worry too much about those things that are out of my control. I could not worry whether my guests were liking every part of their holiday but I could control the part of me that they heard and saw. In other words I could control my thoughts and actions so that I could put out the best part of me that I could.
Implement some TLC in your life and hopefully you will become your own best friend and avoid self sabotaging thoughts and actions that might lead you to becoming your own worst friend.
- 10 Tips to Ease the Pressure-Cooker Holiday: Hoping for Perfect (caregiving.com)
- Unresolved Resolutions? This New Year, Ask What You Would Change If You Could Do Life Over. (psychologytoday.com)
- What does Compromise Mean during the Holidays? (datingonline.net)
- Relationship: Try to take the high road for the holidays (seattletimes.nwsource.com)