Show Me Your Friends and I’ll Show You Your Future

This quote (and I don’t know who actually said it) popped into my

The comedy show Friends becomes popular.
Friends can make or break each other

mind in the midst of lunch with a friend today.  In the course of the lunch we discussed various projects we hoped to initiate.  Projects involving  topics we felt passionate about. As we examined the  complexities of the undertaking we were considering, contentment hung in the air. Respect coated every nuance of our conversation.

Later in the day, I met up with another set of friends and as we discussed different topics and challenged each other in the beliefs that we had, I found myself reflecting again on that quote. My friends brought value to my life and I like to think I bring value in their lives as well.

The company you surround yourself with has the power to influence the thoughts and actions you have. Negative friends will bring out negativity in you. Positive friends bring out positivity in you. We have the  power to  choose who we allow into our lives. We also have the power to bring value to others lives.

Love and Kindness are some of the ingredients necessary to influence the good you can bring to others lives. Having wisdom to have the clarity to see a situation as it is will guide you in making the choices that will put you in the right environment with the right conversations that will ultimately enrich your day.

Who are your friends and what future do you have with them?


6 thoughts on “Show Me Your Friends and I’ll Show You Your Future

  1. Many years ago, I listened to a motivational speaker who said, or words to this effect: “Do you have a friend, not a coworker or a relative, perhaps from a previous stage in your life like college or high school, who is critical of you? They may say things like,’your previous hair style looked better on you’ or ‘I’m not too thrilled with your choice of a life partner; I think you could have done better’ or ‘It was silly of you to become a writer; you could have made much more money if you majored in a science.’ And I’m not talking about constructive criticism here, I’m talking about a ‘Debbie Downer,’ or someone who drags down any conversation you are in. Well, take those people and GET THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE! Surround yourself with positive people who see the good in you and provide constructive advice. The book reviews can be bad enough, you don’t need friends dragging you down. I always remembered that and this blog entry reminded me.

    1. Dave, so aptly put. Life is hard enough as it is without the added burden of having negative influences. What great examples as well and I agree that constructive criticism is great. There are times when negativity can come cloaked in the guise of constructive criticism and ones duty is to be vigilant when negativity is present because most of the time it is not direct it is indirect and “supposed” to be helping you.

      Thank you for your comment.

  2. Interesting post. “Negative” in many instances is subjective, and the nature of subjective-ness, I believe, is driven by ego. Sometimes we’ll find that we’re missing out on good critical advise from someone we consider ‘negative’ because we don’t necessarity agree with their opinions, their lifestyle, etc – we don’t care for this person, so we rule them as negative when they give criticize us. Also, some of the critical feedback we get is coming from the other person’s own life experience, a ‘projection’ if you like.

    If person A opines to me about my career choice, fashion sense, spousal choice, and I happen not to like or agree with their opinion, are they necessarily being negative? We have to be careful in our willing participation in the Cult of Positivity. Life in this cult is such that we’re afraid to truly hear an opinion that differs from ours, especially from a different variety of people. We clutch onto seeing ‘the good side’ of everything, when we’re often called to see the facts of a situation honestly (“I’ve just lost my job and I don’t know how I’ll pay my mortgage or continue to support my elderly sickly parents”) so that we can take action from a place of strength and courage.

    Being positive is living with hope. True hope is not frivolous and delicate – I believe true hope is fighting the good fight, even on days when it looks like you’re losing. I am all for positivity, but I am also all for facing up to a different opinion and using my voice to give my opinion of their opinion.

    1. Helen,

      You have raised several provocative points.

      Being Negative is definitely subjective and if I would even venture that it is also situational. There is motive in every negative feedback that one receives. In some cases it is pure criticism with the intention to help you; in others it is driven by other factors that might be interests specific to the other persons own agenda. It is important to take a step back and see where the negative feedback is coming from and the intent behind it.

      Being Positive also has its own functional role in our lives. In most cases it can give us the willpower to face the future, in others to exist within adversity and in others to move forward without necessarily having to deal with every single thing that is happening.
      Either way Negativity and Positivity have their functional roles in our lives. The challenge is to know when each of them can serve a purpose in our lives and then apply or discard it.

      Thanks again Helen for your thoughtful comments.


  3. For Christians, i will quote from The Bible, Bad company ruins good morals. I can as well say Good company instill good morals.
    The people who sorround are a true reflection of what you are. Keeping good company ensures that we keep a promise for a promising future.
    I total agree with you.

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